BITE ONE
5 MIN READ
HOW YOU TURN UP MATTERS
We’ve all heard the old line “It’s not you, it’s me” played out in rom-coms and sitcoms. Well this statement is more than a get out of jail free card, it actually has massive application to life and work.
Let’s be clear though, it’s not just a line; there’s a deep truth to it.
Even more so if you are in a place of influence.
When we lead or coach others, our mindset toward them and ourselves is quite simply where the power lies. So, let’s start a great coaching relationship by starting here. What’s our mindset?
Tell me, have you heard of the concepts of ‘fixed’ or ‘growth’ mindsets?
“One of the most basic beliefs we carry about ourselves, has to do with how we view and inhabit what we consider to be our intelligence. ”
Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, has spent her career unpacking mindsets and their impact on our ability to learn or change. Her ground breaking research has proven how tweaking even the slightest of beliefs can have profound impact on nearly every aspect of our lives.
TWO MINDSETS SHE HAS STUDIED ARE CALLED ‘FIXED’ AND ‘GROWTH’ MINDSETS.
One of the most basic beliefs we carry about ourselves, Dweck found in her research, has to do with how we view and inhabit what we consider to be our intelligence.
A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static, meaning we can’t change them in any meaningful way. A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, assumes character, intelligence and creative ability are malleable and can be grown and cultivated over time.
People with a set of beliefs that lend toward fixed mindset, desire to be right. Success is the affirmation of their inherent intelligence and so they avoid failure at all costs. This is a self-preservation move, a way of maintaining their sense of being smart or skilled. Cause really, who likes to feel dumb. If that’s the stick you measure yourself by, it can easily become the rod you whip yourself with.
On the other side, people with a set of beliefs that lend toward growth mindsets, desire to learn. They thrive on challenge and see failure, not as evidence of unintelligence, but as a heartening springboard for growth and stretching of existing abilities.
Look closely at the diagram above. Study it. Look at how both the mindsets have different responses to the situations they face. Make your way down the list of words in the middle of the diagram. Ask yourself, which side do you land on when you face those situations?
These two mindsets are strongly connected with our success and failure in both our professional and personal contexts. A person with a fixed mindset is less likely to achieve their full potential and also, less likely to empower others to achieve their full potential.
Why? Because fullness of potential requires stretching and making mistakes to learn. It requires us feeling okay with others being on a process of change too. A fixed mindset, however, boxes us.
A person with a growth mindset is more likely to achieve their full potential, or empower others to achieve their potential because they are cultivating the greatest environment for constant growth to be realised within.
How does this apply to coaching?
How does this apply to coaching?
In two ways.
The first is how we view ourselves, the second is how we view our coachees.
For many of us, a fixed mindset likes to linger in the corners of our brains waiting to rear its ugly head. It totally makes sense that it does too. Humans, mostly, don’t like change. Our brains don’t like it. Change uses energy and ushers in the unknown. The unknown is scary and our ancient brain likes to avoid scary. That’s how we survived in the thousands of years gone past. And so it waits, the old fixed mindset, waiting till you want to change something and then it steps out of the shadows.
How do we overcome it? By noticing it? By calling it out into the light and challenging it with it’s arch enemy; the growth mindset.
If you want to influence others, or even just grow yourself to the wild unknowns of our greatest potential, then we have to be willing to adopt a growth mindset. Regularly, like, moment by moment.
When you are ready head to ACTION ITEM #1 to do some mindset pondering.
Alternatively, let’s consider the idea of creating safety in the coaching relationship.