BITE ONE
5 MIN READ
WHY DO PEOPLE GET STUCK?
It can be the most frustrating thing can’t it. Watching someone sit in a place of no momentum. Watching ourselves sit in a place of no momentum. They call it the ‘doldrums’ for a reason; even the word itself seems depressing. How can we break out of the doldrums? How can we help others break out? Let’s first understand why people get stuck.
The “doldrums” is a colloquial expression derived from historical maritime usage. It describes the experience of being in boat but going nowhere. Depicted in the occasional movie now and then, this is a dreadful and kinda frightening state to be in. There are a few insights we can draw from this analogy that aid us to understand why people do get stuck.
1. BOATS FIND THEMSELVES IN THE DOLDRUMS BECAUSE THERE’S SIMPLY NO WIND.
For people, this is the same as there being no inspiration around. We have lost touch with what lights us up, what causes us to be moved. This is a real key in helping us understand why we get stuck. We have to reconnect to our purpose. As coaches, we have to guide others to reconnect to their purpose; to rediscover what moves them.
2. BOATS IN THE DOLDRUMS HAVE NO ENGINE.
They are relying on the weather, an external element to take them someplace. People do the same. They give up their internal locus of control, their internal driver and tell themselves the world around ought to take them where they need to go. This is an extremely disempowering frame of reference for people. We need to educate ourselves and others, that we do, in fact, have an internal engine we can switch on. It’s called personal responsibility and choice.
3. BOATS IN THE DOLDRUMS HAVE NO PLAN.
I don’t know about you, but if I knew I’d hit a patch in my journey where I could be going nowhere for weeks or months at a time, I’d have a plan for dealing with that. Wouldn’t you? But so many people don’t. I believe when Henry David Thoreau famously stated “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” he was describing those with no plan and no purpose. A plan tells us where we are going and how we are going to navigate the hurdles along the way. Couple this with finding our purpose and inner drive, and you are far more likely not to find yourself in the doldrums.
4. BOATS IN THE DOLDRUMS HAVE NO FUEL.
Maybe they do have an engine, maybe they did even have a plan, but boats in the doldrums may have simply run out of fuel to power that engine. Things go wrong. The best laid plans can all go to pot and we find ourselves outta fuel. This can happen for people too right?. We get tired. Our resources get low. We need to refuel. The irony though, is refuelling is not always about taking a long vacay with a piña colda on a beach someplace. Don’t get me wrong, it may be this, but counter-intuitively, refuelling can also happen when we get active. We just have to get active and start making progress on the things that matter.
As with most things of worth, there is no one simple answer. If there were, it would be an easy fix. But’s it’s not simple, and it’s not easy. Being stuck is a symptom resulting from a number of factors. Our job as coaches, is to help diagnose why people get stuck and provide a guide for them to direct and navigate themselves out of that state.